Lie-down

Getting better today after few days of sickness. How do I know? There were moments when I was actually attentive today. I even had an AT lie-down, the first one since the last lesson.

I paid attention to my neck and asked it to do nothing. I had the sense that it was exactly what was needed. No bothering about directions, just inhibit. I connected with the floor and the boundary between my body and the outside kind of dissolved.

I noticed some major repetitive reactions in my body to recurring memories and imagination. This is where I am, and this is the place to begin.

It seems that the AT process is not linear, but can't say much more about it.

Re-connection

I had my first AT lesson in 7 months today.

The ongoing preparation for my training course begins here...

Today: work with the mirror and the chair & lie-down.

We completed the meeting with a short Chi Kung exercise to organize the energy in the body. The teacher combines these two disciplines.

Evil trainers

I walked a lot yesterday, using the trainers that are too tight. It caused a lot of tension and some pain in the big toe of the left foot. To compensate this and release the pain I re-adjusted the work of my ankle, but in a way it hasn't been designed to operate, thus adding to the misuse. The domino effect continued and later on that night I actually found my left hip joint tensed.

The punch line: get yourself new shoes mate. And few AT lessons would do as well. I'm actually planning to have one in the second half of the month. My last lesson was about six months ago...

Noticeable improvement

Today I completed my teaching course, and my ability to let go of tensions noticeable improved. These two things are related.

Pre-guitar practice lie-down helped to release tensions in the shoulders and in the back.

One of those days

Today was one of those days when I couldn't really connect with my body and let go of tensions, and these don't happen often. I think the main reason for it, was that I slept for too long.

Let the wrist to be free

During guitar work today, while practicing alternate picking I paid attention to my neck, and asked it to be free, and then I asked it again, and again. This was highly informative, and I notice how the quality in the neck extended to the wrist of the right hand.

AT bank

Today's long lie-down was like putting money in my AT bank. Today the work done was still present, almost like a kind of shield.

Have a short lie-down before and after guitar work today. And in the middle: giving impartial attention to the body is enough. A healing hour. Notice the tensions in the feet and lower legs at the end. Something to look at tomorrow.

Sense of wonder

I had a before bed lie-down yesterday. A second, smaller wave of sickness came my way, and I couldn't really manage my attention and engage in the procedure. After 15 minutes I moved my legs from the floor, to bed and very quickly fell asleep.

And this morning I had a 10 minutes lie-down before the day, as advised, and again, I fell asleep. Still, I think it was useful.

After I came back from the busy day of supply work at the school, I had a moment of a deep release and relaxtation. With each breath the tensions of the day would go, it was in the momement. Each release would bring up some memory of the event in the day, probably assosiated with the particular tensions. I watched these thoughts & emotions impartially. The process left me with the sense of wonder.

Have a long lie-down before bed today. I'm aiming to extend them to one hour, but today begin with 40 minutes. This is quite a journey, there's time to look at things more in depth. At the end one layer of tension I haven't been aware of gets revealed: on my throat and upper chest. It's like a thin coat of tension.

Huge, fat & disgusting belly

One of my major body habits is tensing the belly muscles, do I have to add it interferes with my breathing big time?

Today I noticed some of the obstacles to inhibiting this misuse:

- judgemental thoughts of my belly as being too big that lead to 'drawing it in', and thus adding one tension/habit on top of another.

- emotional reaction to the above thought.

All closely related, a solid unchangeable block, unless all centres are involved in dealing with it. JGB's view (expressed in HWDT) on changing the habits springs to mind here.

And in the evening: a blissful and healing lie-down, like coming home after a long time! Huray!

Noise and movement

I was given a massage yesterday and noticed that my left side of the body was more tensed than the right one. Today while doing the dishes I noticed that I'm putting much more weight on my left foot. Is it possible it's a new bad habit?

On my way to Lewisham today - I'm standing outside one of the busy London stations. The place is crowded and very noisy: trains, buses, cars etc. I come back to my body, and scan it from the feet upwards, remind myself that this noise doesn't belong to me. Can I remain quiet and still in the midst of noise and movement? Not this morning.

Impossible

I had a little aim for my one lesson I taught today: to remember to ask my neck to be free at the beginning of the lesson. Perhaps sounds like a simple thing to do, but the idea was to introduce some AT work in the stressing school setting gradually, begin with the possible. Today even this was impossible, and now I know.

Signs of moving on

Last night before bed I had a very good lie-down, so went to bed collected. In the morning though, my mind and body was/were agitated and tensed. Perhaps a sign of progress? Going forward sometimes feels like going backward.

I came back from the school very tired, without much self-pitying myself I reaffirmed that I just need to re-engage with the AT once again - positively and without expectations.

During lie-down my muscles continued to resist, and confirmed the changes taking place - despite their total dislike of any change - they don't want it! It's an opportunity.

A lot of twitching during lie-down today.

I find this journal supportive in my daily practice of AT.
My aim is to keep it up for the next 18 days.

In the evening: listen to a very informative interview with a Connecticut based AT teacher: http://www.purevolume.com/ccatllc

A new old book

During today's sitting a little step was made towards more healthy and positive relationship with my body. It took 25 minutes to go through in-depth relaxation sequence, and there was a sense of both lightness and groundedness that followed. My use improved during the exercise.

Once I stood up after the practice and opened the door, the first thing I noticed was how strongly I grabbed the handle. I didn't react to this information, but simply took note of it. Now, when typing this I sense the contact of the hands with the computer and type lightly, for a change.

In the evening begin the first reading of Alexander's Constructive Conscious Control of the Individual. The reason I did put it away for such a long time was the difficult style of his writings. But hey, I can give it a shot, the time is now.

Moving towards effortlessness

My morning sitting was calm today, which I attribute to the recent lie-downs. Moving towards an effortless upright posture... Addressing how to.

... I'm sweeping & mopping the floor. My hand is holding the broom tightly, there's an excess of tension. I ask my hands to use only necessary tension...

Constructive rest

Just found this on one AT teacher blog:

Why must you do semi-supine if you want to improve quickly?

The person who regularly does semi-supine can progress eighteen times as fast as the person who doesn’t. They will progress even faster than that if they do it even more often.

What is this semi-supine? Semi-supine is the Alexander Technique lying down procedure, also known as “Constructive Rest”...

Not sure how that progress rate was estimated, but it's pretty impressive.

The opportunity to come back to AT is freely availably throughout the day, provided I notice it first. Then the choice to re-engage is available.

Currently I'm re-establishing daily twice a day lie-downs. Such a regular practice supports an ongoing and consistant work.

For a long period of time I lacked confidence that I can reconnect with the technique without the support of the teacher. At this moment it's a statement I deeply question.

Building up

Today's lie-down felt more like building up on yesterday's work. So it wasn't 'only' for the recovery like yesterday.

Peaceful practice, trust the spontaneity, allow the practice to unfold as I went along.

What follow was a quality in the body I recognized. Yes, it's something I am familiar with and experienced in the past - 5 years ago, for the first time, but the view of it is different today - as if looking at the same picture through glasses of a different colour.

I'm aiming to establish the continuous AT work through establishing the points of certainty first, AT lie-downs that is.

Link of interest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z7TVu-m9qc&feature=related

Take care about the beginning

During today's lie-down I concluded that my body hasn't been in such a bad shape as it is now for at least 5 years.

Take care about the beginning of lie-down procedure today - pay attention to the body - accept its condition impartially.

Now to second lie-down.

After-lesson residues

Yesterday after teaching the class in the morning I went outside. I gave my attention to the neck and requested it 'to be free'. That's when I noticed that I have completely forgotten my use during the lesson.

The lesson was very challenging and coming back to the body and doing nothing seemed like the best way of dealing with after-lesson residues.

End-gaining muscles

During practicing today I noticed that as far as my body is concerned, my belly muscles are at the centre of end gaining, at least on that level I am aware of.

So today I look at this reaction.

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Establish the basic form & 1st variation of the exercise. In order to maintain the pattern flowing I have to be attentive to its every beat. Most distracting to being attentive today were recurring thoughts & on-going inner analysis.

Imagination

When talking on the phone today I noticed that my attention withdrew inside and got lost in the inner processes. Mainly in imagining what the other person might say, or might think, and how should/could I react, reply etc. A good example of wrong working (misuse ?) of the centres.

Once this was noticed I brought back attention to my neck and asked for a release, came back to my body. I looked at the wall in front of me, and attempted to get the sense of the space around me. I remembered what has been said about the visual connection and awareness as a form of grounding.

Upon reflection this reminded me of one of the SBC's (one of the AT teachers in GC) postings on the Guitar Craft journal site, few years ago. She mentioned Dr.Nicoll for whom the Alexander Technique was the Work.

But it's not the quotation, just paraphrasing what i remembered, and i have a vivid memory of reading it.