These feet were made for being placed on the floor...

I sat down on the chair to have my breakfast this morning and crossed legs. After a while, I thought it's probably not so good to do it this way, but why? for 'the good use' sake? I decided to leave it like this and observe what actually happens when the legs are crossed: my back arches, the tension appears in the chest area and breathing becomes shallow & requires effort. So there you go. I'm not saying it has to be like this every time the legs cross, it was just my experience on this very day.

The experience has left its trace...

And in the evening: 20 minute of lie-down. It was a strainging day. I day-dream a lot.

28th April

Guitar today: 2 x 45 min.

1) Both hands primaries.

2) Left hand, quality approach to one little phrase, challenge, Fratres, play.

I didn't notice anything today.

A slug in movement

The last entry in this AT section was posted 2 weeks ago, which is probably a sign that my AT work was flat, or better to say, non-existent. Today a response to one of the older posts has been made and it woke me up, so to speak.

When I remember and pay attention to how I move, the movement slows down and I'm more careful. As if the attention itself had the power to change...

Observe it few times today.

Hands recovery

Practice today:

Bringing my hands/body in shape. T

Accented, alternate & cross picking.

First half:observe the release in the left hand.

I noticed two things:

- that the right hand's return after release is actually more of a stroke, and that release is not really a release but a stroke as well.

- that the muscle around my mouth were tensed.

Second half:

- 2-4 left finger combination.

- arpeggios in g minor, play 28 Bars.

- Play 9 Dias, Footsteps, Music for a Found Harmonium and Carcassi's Allegro

At the end I noticed the Completion & remained still and quiet for few minutes.

Fail with joy

I had many opportunities to observe my reactions/responses to failure with the exercise. I even failed with joy, once.

This week I'm going to approach DOA notes in a different manner, and will post the weekly report at the end of the week.

Arpeggio

End learning Fratres arpeggio tonight.

On Monday I begin systematic preparation for the Summer.

End of this week

Came back home from tennis today and just dropped off. Wake up just before 2 o'clock at night, bit unsettled.

Sit down to practice w/o metronome focusing on playing first 4 patterns I've learnt, without the interruption. Then to play them with counting of 3 bars of 4, and 4 bars of 3.

I think too much while doing this, a typical state after having a nap like this and waking up in the middle of the night.

A first cycle completed

Complete a 10 step cycle of the exercise today (one of 18 possible pairs of patterns). Once it is established I believe the other ones don't require as much work as the first time did though.

In some cases I found that adding counting actually made the pattern easier, but don't know why.

Fratres & Primaries

Hour & a half with guitar, divided between learning & practicing Fratres arpeggio and practicing the Primaries.

During Primaries work I paid attention to the body, asking for a relaxation.

Day 3, middle of the week

It's evening, i'm tired.

Complete the first cycle of 4 patterns and then move further, where foot and hand patterns reverse.

Notice that my attention is mostly anchored in the body, sometimes too much, and I'm asleep to what is around me.

At one I made a mistake and stopped, afterwards I noticed i was gently laughing, daydreaming about something that happened earlier today. It caused the mistake.

Complete step 'H', and pause, notice the acupoints around my right eye suddenly 'opened'.

Few times I forgot about the special exercise for this week.

Enough. End on the step 'I'.

Restless body

I review the last piece in the series of JS Bach solo pieces - d Courrante.

Work on Fratres arpeggio. First half is memorized but not really integrated yet.

Notice that my body is restless. What is it, coffee, or perhaps it reflect my state of mind?

One hour of this.

DOA

Continue with the exercise in the similar manner & focus as yesterday:

I stopped the exercise several times, and observed:

- acceptance of making the mistake, because of which i stopped.

- tension in the upper part of the chest

- relief of having the distance to myself.

- vibrant sensation on the top of my head

- something like tensed thinking, a mind equivalent of muscular tension.

- my breath about to suspend, but because i was aware of it, i allowed the breath to happen

- impatience & irritation. Honesty in describing my state.

Notice that observing what happens in between working with patterns affect my experience of whole practice. The quality spreads.

And today

Today: One solid hour of Repertoire work, then play acoustics with Pawel. He on OST & Jacek on NST.

NST

Continue reviewing Bach's repertoire.

Also learn the 16th notes arpeggios from Fratres. I aim to learn the whole arpeggio this week.

My new flatmate Pawel visits me to check out the NST tuning, he's curious. I play 9 Dias & G gigue for him.

Observing

Continue with last week's exercise, plus focus on one aspect of the DoA practice, as suggested by AP.

I was aware of the following after stopping the exercise.

- muscular tension, the body readjusting to it, finding the balanced poise.

- suspended breath.

- anxiety.

- unconditional acceptance.

- calm.

- a sense of failure.

- satisfaction.

I'm more aware of the sounds outside (birds, people chatting in the other room) when pausing (more attention available), than when practicing patterns (attention engaged).

It is possible not to act on the impulses.

Complete the step E of the exercise.

Saturday

Reconnect with some Bach Repertoire: G suite's Prelude, Courrante, Gigue, Minutet II & C prelude.

Have to recall some of it, but the score is not necessary for this. Hands remember, i just to have to play them through few times.

17th April

I played a bit of guitar in the hostel room, while two Korean guys were around, so that was kind of good, not a performance, but something was different.

17th April

Yesterday i didn't make it with the practice, but today managed to find the time when nobody was here in the hostel.

Focus on the step E of the new exercise. Asleep and tired, but persevere in applying attention to it & trust the process.

15th April

The guitar at night. It's late, and therefore quiet too.

Spend some time with Fratres & play.

Look forward to settling down in London soon and establishing new & appropriate practice.

15th April

Two short practices today:

Late afternoon: step C of the new exercise. I'm attentive and sensitive - more is possible at this point.

Late night: step D. At one point i stop and get lost in the daydreaming, notice it. So there we go. There's opportunity to observe myself at any 'waking' moment, now (or is it?). A level of attention doesn't remain the same, it varies from one minute to another.

14th April

I noticed that having an 'I have it' attitude makes me miss a lot of richness and information available on the way.

Focus on the 'C' part of the new exercise. Fully engaged in the work with it.

14th April

2 x 30 min:

Right hand primaries.

Left hand & play.

In the rhythm of the shopping music

Today we went with Ania to the big shopping outlet near Leeds. While waiting for her outside one shop i spontaneously practiced DOA for few minutes, using the pulse of the shopping background music.

And there's a new material from Alain to be worked on. It came at the right time, and i give it a shot late in the evening.

I have a good feel for this exercise, which in order to be discharged requires certain degree of Attention, so it can be later divided.

Non-noticing noticed

I don't have a specific commitment for this AT section at the moment, but keeping this journal helped me to notice at the end of this day that i haven't noticed anything AT related today. So ... it's useful.

Late night

Practiced after Chi Kung session today, and it made the difference to this work.

Short practice today, only 10 minutes.

Next week I'm going to experiment more with what i do, and hopefully, look at it with fresh eyes.

A little moment of improved use

In the grip of bad habits today, there were very few moments when I intentionally improved my use.

When walking i noticed how all the body is doing, pushing forward, unnecessarily. I gently asked to stop it and allowed the legs to carry on with the job and the upper half of the body just to rest. Wow! Walking can actually be quite an easy and effortless activity.

Honour Sufficiency applied to the movement.

Liveliness

Begin with directing attention.

It's quite touching when 4 against 5 poly-rhythm integrates in the body. Somehow it makes me feel connected with myself and the world, it gives the sense of liveliness.

Varied and flexible practice today.

Dis-connected

Short & unfocused practice today. Feel temporarily disconnected from the instrument.

Learn new arpeggios from Fratres.

Welcomed change

Late practice so instead of working on loud '16th notes legs' do '16th notes hands'.

Today is a welcoming change, and it feels more like practice dividing the attention. What is different? First of all there's some Attention to be divided, which is a good thing to acknowledge in these dozy times.

4 against 5.

Just for the record: unfocused and short practice today.

4 against 5

Solid practice. Keep the variety and hence interest in what I am doing, bearing in mind that this work is basically about the Attention.

Continue approaching 4 against 5

2 rebels

Notice a lot of tension in the soles of the feet today. How silly, as if pressing them down to the ground was helping in staying upright or walking. It doesn't, and in fact it does the reverse. So keep observing these rebellious limbs of mine, and in the meantime keep the overview of the whole body & keep releasing the neck (when I can remember). Surely the morning GC Practice supports this kind of attention work.

Also do an AT lie-down today. Listening. It's comforting to come back to the body. In my case, perhaps because I inhabit my mind so much, so moving the centre of gravity from the thinking activity to awareness of the body presence is a relief, indeed.

Also notice other related recurring habitual tensions, but won't be going into details here, the point is that i noticed them & kept looking at them.

Gradual approach

1st practice:

Back in action.

Basically developing the exercises, building on the work done so far.

I focus on getting the steady & relaxed flow in the feet.

During this notice that i'm tired and that I'm willing to persist.

44 & 48 BPM.

2nd practice:

52 BPM.

Work on the smooth flow of the feet.

Gradually approach 4/5.

Also reverse feet/hand for a change.

Stuff i dunno

Not particularly structured practice today. Mostly go through some repertoire and check some stuff out, explore what 'i don't know'.

Centaur

I've recently finished reading No Boundary.

From one chapter:

To re-own the body might initially strike one as a peculiar notion. The boundary between ego and flesh is so deeply embedded in the average person's consciousness that he responds to the proposed task of healing the split with a curious mixture of puzzlement and boredom. He has come to believe that the boundary between the mind and body is unalterably real, and thus he can't figure out why anyone would want to tamper with it, let alone dissolve it.

As it turns out, few of us have lost our minds, but most of us have long ago lost our bodies...

Indeed, my body seems just to dangle along under me. I no longer approach the world 'with' my body but on my body. I'm up here, it's down there, and I'm basically uneasy about just what it is down there.

It seems to me that the Alexander Technique offers excellent means to dissolving this ego/body boundary, it applies to the centauric level.

No guitar and division of attention practice this week - traveling.

I maintained TJOTD though.

Yet another chair

The bus chairs are designed:

(1) by people who collapse
(2) for people who collapse
(3) in order to induce and facilitate collapsing.

I had such a chair on the bus from and to London. After spending sufficient time collapsing i stopped curving my back into the chair, came back on the sitting bones and invited sense of both being grounded and going up from this base. With my recent use i can't maintain such a sense while leaning against the chair.

This realignment allowed more clarity and ease, and to move to doing something little bit more useful and constructive than tension induced day dreaming and anxiety.